My first boyfriend and I got together when we were 18 and we were head over heels. Something about him just fit from day 1, like the way our hands would fit was just like his were made for mine. I loved him more than anything.

He went to uni, I took a gap year. Although I visited a lot, I felt like we had moved in different directions and like he didn’t want to include me in his life anymore. I wasn’t sure that he was sure about me. Sometimes he was distant. It wasn’t that we weren’t in love, it was that we weren’t quite working together for the future and I don’t think either of us adjusted to the change well.

We parted ways, badly. I ended it because I think I wanted him to fight for me and if he cared, this was the time to show it. Love them let them go etc. In retrospect it was a stupid decision for our situation - it didn’t solve anything and actually parting ways was wretchedly miserable. I actually didn’t want him to go anywhere when I think about it but I didn’t know how to express what I wanted, and he took it as rejection (understandably).

For two and a half years there was nothing. Different lives. We lived in different places. Didn’t talk. I wanted to but he couldn’t bear to. Every single day I missed him endlessly. It felt like someone had ripped off a limb or sucked out all the air. I never got over it and I really tried to.

Anyway, one day he messaged me out of the blue. Suddenly we were speaking again and we couldn’t stop. We finally talked through all the things we had waited 2 and a half years to say. The chemistry was still there. The first time he hugged me again, I cried (and I am not a crier). It was like coming home.

A couple of days later he asked me on a date and before I knew it we were together again. The distance was hard but it taught us both appreciation and patience. Sometimes space is good to remember what you want (although I don’t recommend 2.5 years of it!). We have been together 6 years consecutively since then, are engaged and looking to buy a house together.

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